The Naked Healer

A couple of weeks ago, I had an appointment with an accomplished healer. I do not know how well known he is but he has been credited with helping a great number of people from around the world. He lives in Nevada City, CA but a local cranio-sacral therapist whom I have seen countless times. invited him here for several days after she had experienced what she felt was a miracle after seeing him. She was so taken with his abilities that she wanted to share his gifts with her family, friends and clients.

Sue, our local healer, is one of the people on this earth that has my complete trust. So when she told me the story about what she experienced with this man, I was in. As "luck" would have it, I had made what is now a rare appointment with Sue right after she had returned from seeing this healer. Cosme is his name-o. She offered me an appointment and I was to find out later that this was SRO-there were only so many appointments to be doled out due to the number of people wanting to see him versus how many slots there were available. She told me "you selected yourself" by contacting her at just the right time. I was given a choice of available times and I ended up with a 9 p.m. on Saturday night appointment. Who else would be psyched for a 9 p.m. Saturday appointment, but moi?

Saturday came rolling around and I didn't know what to do with myself as the time approached so I decided to leave around 8:30 p.m., knowing it would probably take me 15 minutes to get there. Once inside the building, Sue and her eldest son, Mark were sitting outside the treatment room and she looks at me and states, "oh, I forgot to call you, Cosme is running behind but you are welcome to stay or whatever you want to do". I looked around and figured I had nothing else going so I pulled up a chair and had an oatmeal raisin cookie and vitamin water. While we were conversing, this brown skinned, dark haired stocky man appears from the treatment room. Instantly, he is drawn to me and starts into a conversation about a psychiatrist/author he had worked with in the past. He had emerged from the treatment room because during his session he gives exercises to the patient and then leaves them for a couple of minutes. So this happened several times, Cosme comes out and engages me. I could tell by the conversation he was cueing in on me. He started with the psychiatrist chit chat and then onto words about "helping people". I asked Sue after he left if he knew I was a psychologist and she said he had asked her at one point to tell him about me (as he asked about the others) and she had tried to sort out my job to him-and summed it up by saying I worked at a hospital and help kids. She wasn't sure how much she told him about me but a brief summary. During one of the occasions he appeared, he started in on a story (there's always a story/metaphor) about how he was able to help this prominent psychiatrist so he could go out and help many more people. And I got chills up and down because he was cueing in on me and telling me this for a reason. I have helped a lot of people in my career, but I know it is about to get bigger.

Time came, over two hours after I had arrived for my appointment. To say he was running behind was an understatement. It was also strange that I sat there the entire time. I could have gone home as I live so close but felt I was to stay. The conversation before I even got into the treatment room had started my "healing".

When I got into the room, he got down to business. Outside of the treatment room he was all smiles and full of fun but his demeanor changed. He was more serious and focused. I signed a consent form and he went to work. He has a routine that he takes clients through and I got to experience the exercises while he left the room. He took me through a series of tests where he was looking at the chakras with some sort of divination rods telling me that all of them were closed except for the crown, which was 27% open. Somewhere during this routine I began to get bored and it seemed silly to me and at one point I grabbed the rods when he put them down and told him I wanted to "do him". Oh gawd, sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. He wasn't so fond of me taking his stuff and told me we were to focus on me and not him. Can't blame him and on we marched. Next I got on the massage table and he did a complete physical analysis. It was exactly what I needed. He cued in on my hormonal imbalance. Yes, I have been sick for several years with a low thyroid (hypo). He also told me I had a twist in my hips. I have been complaining to myself and anyone who will listen about my "twist". I have been doing Bikram Yoga trying to correct this twist. I could see it and feel it even though it wasn't something you could really see by looking at me. He also told me I was impulsive (not sure if he was getting me back for grabbing his divination rods) and that I was highly intelligent as he liked my mind. The main thing, though was that he said my chemistry is out of balance. YES. This is what I have been looking for as my physical vessel has not been able to keep up with my spiritual growth. I was in deep doo doo with my body. Too much stress and emotional crap along with peri-menopause has left me half dead. He started to go through all of the body parts and organs which were sick which started to pile up. I finally asked him "do you have anything good to say?". He said, well "I like your personality" and I laughed and said "well, when you're stooping to personality then that says it all" and I think I saw him smile.

Eventually we got to the healing part, the weird naked massage. You are given the choice of how much you want to disrobe but he tells you he works the best without the impediment of clothing. Sue had told me this before and I had been apprehensive about it but felt trusting of him and hell, what did I have to lose, really? So I got totally naked and he started his process by selecting certain music for the treatment. He then proceeded to do an odd massage where he dumped a lot of olive oil on you and then sort of played your body like it was an instrument to the music. At at few different points his hands started to vibrate rather strongly which was really interesting. Can't say I really felt woo woo'd out or anything like I usually do when I get body work.

I forgot to mention that this guy is from the line of healers of John of God in Brazil. He says he is guided by God during his healing and that he is the instrument through which God comes through. Cosme Castanieto was born in Hawaii of Filipino descent. There was one moment where he had pulled a Bible out and read a passage-have to say I sort of tuned out on that one but in retrospect wished I would have heard what he was saying. Was sort of expecting the bible to combust or something due to my disdain of it. I saw an interview by Dr. Wayne Dyer awhile ago where he claims he was healed of leukemia by John of God. It was the best thing I have every seen Wayne do and I have been looking for it. I had heard of John of God before but this interview lead me to explore the whole John of God phenomenon. I haven't been able to locate the interview as I had first gotten it from a link on facebook and could not find it through google. And what is really freaky is when I just now, July 28, 2012, googled "John of God" the Wayne Dyer interview popped up and it says it was download July 28, 2011. WHAT?

Well, this has gotten quite long. I'll end with I was in the session for 3 hours, he normally works no longer than 2 hours. Either he just couldn't get enough of this naked body or I was in need of a super session. He only charged me for 2 hours, god bless him. How am I doing? I am not quite yet sure as I have spent a large part of the last two weeks sleeping a lot. I am going to give it some time and then I'll write more. I do feel, however, that something miraculous happened.

Kiss and love to all on this journey.

I see you......Shame

After a night of insomnia, I got up and went on some sort of mini cleaning frenzy which only included using my beloved cordless Dyson until the battery ran out (around 10 minutes) and then scrubbing/bleaching my sink. When I was using the sprayer to rinse and the sponge/scrubber to sop up the water mess that had gotten itself outside the sink, I had to wipe around my knife holder and then I needed to pick up my knife holder as the water was encroaching around it. Some how, and this is weird, the way I picked up the Kapoosh Cutlery block allowed it to tip forward. My most expensive knife in the block, my beautiful Wusthof Grand Prix Chef knife, was out of the block about two inches. As I was holding the block by my pointer and thumb, the block fell forward and the knife cut my skin between my pointer and thumb, my web. It was just a nick but as per usual, any cut on the hand begins to bleed. I fumbled around looking for a good sized band-aid. After breaking into those fort knox wrappers and rejecting several based on their size, I finally found one large enough for my left web. I also admit that I was wrestling with thoughts of betrayal aimed at my Wusthof.

After the band-aid was secured, I kept thinking about how this injury seemed vaguely familiar. I then remembered a time when I was around 16 years old and working at a local steakhouse as a cashier. I was closing which meant one of the things I had to do was put the unused food away. As I was getting some saran wrap off of this massive gigantic restaurant sized spool, it slipped and when i went to catch it, the razor sharp, um, razor that tears the wrap, sliced my hand. As I sat staring at my hand to remember where the cut was by looking for the scar, my memory settled into that the current wounding is where the original cut happened and the scar is under the freshly applied band-aid.

I found this whole event extremely odd and started some questioning to see what the heck this was all about. It all seemed too coincidental and especially since the current cut was only a very slight nick. Well, and here is the good part, I started feeling into what I was feeling at that time. What had happened around 33 years ago is that when I sliced my hand, I started wrapping it in paper towels to try and stop the bleeding. I kept doing my job and can still remember taking the crocks out of the salad bar which was packed in ice back in the day and blood seeping out into the ice water which had melted. No matter what I did, I couldn't get the bleeding to stop. I think the manager finally noticed my hand and then called my mother. Why didn't I just ask for help? Drum roll please.........because I was ashamed that I had hurt myself. I felt ashamed.

As I took this feeling of shame into my heart, there was a quick acknowledgement by way of tears, very brief, but a release. Where did I acquire this shame from hurting myself, that some how I made a mistake and I was a bad person because I hurt myself? My guess is childhood as it fits into my theme of being raised to deny my own needs. So this little nick was a gift in that it allowed me to release shame I have been carrying around since pre-memory. So, thank you, my beloved Wusthof for you helped me release a wound I had no idea I was still carrying.