Monday, February 4, 2013

Minor miracles (and I do mean minor)

Somewhere around 2008, life got shitty.  And I mean really shitty.  That is saying a lot coming from me, an orphan.  An orphan who learned to take the crumbs and be happy in this great big world of contrast.  Always, and I mean ALWAYS have I had a sense of appreciation and gratitude for the smallest stuff.  For I knew,  what it meant to not have anything in terms of love and material things.  In fact, I would call it negative zero point for it wasn't just the absence of love but it was negative love in the form of emotional abuse.  And I also know that this was chosen by me and my ever enlightened oversoul, thanks a lot.  I also recognize that there is always, from my perspective, experiences that are worse than mine.  Like homelessness, starvation, sexual abuse or the death your child.  I don't know how people ever overcome/transmute those experiences and I bow to them.

You know, there are pros and cons to everything in this world.  Yes, I am permanently scarred with a sense of gratitude.  On the down side though, I would take whatever crumbs I got from people and turn it into a good thing.  Meaning,  you could treat me rather badly but if I found something, no matter how small that felt I good, I could focus on that.  Which meant selling myself into slavery and emotional manipulation just to get whatever small amount of love I could get.  Nuff said.

So on to the minor miracles.  After developing a very firm connection to my divinity, it somehow disappeared.  I was cut off.  All I remember that is somewhere in 2008, life changed for me.  Where I had played and enjoyed synchronicities, they disappeared.  Wah.  This made me feel loved and cared for.  I don't know where, when or how but my spiritual woo woo-ness had vanished and what I was left with was challenge after challenge after challenge.

This is why I am writing this, to acknowledge the return of some minor miracles.  Nothing huge but my life has been so devoid of "good" things that I will take anything that isn't a nightmare to deal with.  So here is my tiny list of tiny things:

I was in the middle of a boring, boring on-line class which I had to take.  (Did I mention boring).  excruciating.  It was clear in the beginning that if you didn't complete it in one 2 hour sitting that you would have to start it over.  After about a hour, the course quit.  I wasn't sure if I did it because I had several screens open at once, going back and forth between the course and work obligations.  But it just ended and there was no way around it but to start over.  It was definitely the doomsday of boredom for me in terms of having just wasted a hour and having to start all over.  I decided to call the mothership of the class and report the problem.  Turns out, this has happened before and I got to bypass the rest of the class and just take the test.  So, I saved a hour.  This, ladies and gentlemen was a minor miracle.

Do you remember how easy it was to manifest parking spaces?  I miss that.  I really miss it and feel like just another muggle navigating the parking lot with no good parking space wand.  It had been so long, that I just forgot I just to be able to do this.  WELL!  I was just in a mall parking lot and it was very cold so a spot close to the door would enable me to leave my coat in the car so I didn't run around shocking myself all day when I touch metal.  The fur on the coat lends itself perfectly to  static electricity.  I was thinking about how I used to be able to manifest a really good parking spot and right before my eyes, I got it.  No waiting or driving around and no fighting with someone else who spotted it after I did and somehow convinced themselves that it was theirs.  Minor miracle.  In a sea of crap-ola, this felt good.

Ok, I said it was a tiny list.  There may be more but non come to mind.  In terms of bigger things, yes, I have been hard at work transforming challenges.  But, these are not the fun, easy, look what I found freebies that come from no effort.  I'm just going to have to end it with 2 minor miracles and add to my list as I notice them happening.  And BELIEVE ME, I will notice.

Post note, 5 seconds later:  I knew there was one more.  A main water line broke and it was said that the entire town was without water for a day or two.  Mine, however, did not break.  I always had water.  I noticed a slight reduction in water pressure when they said it broke.  That was all.  It was so bad the village was giving out free water.  People couldn't flush their toilets!  I, however, had a fine shower the morning it broke with no worry whatsoever of having to show up at work all stinky.









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